$240 dollars worth of pudding

Well, $241.00 actually. That is the approximate dollar amount that I spent on food – this week.

I guarantee you – I ain’t got it like that. I don’t even want it like that, but between eating out at King, Donald, Bell, Kentucky, or anyone else’s kitchen over my own, I’m stuck.

Granted, I did spend about $100 on groceries. I saw a show once that suggested that people who eat a lot of fast food could benefit from buying frozen dinners. The meals are still convenient, but healthier.

That might have worked if my stomach weren’t always in Man vs. Food mode. If I see, smell, or sense anything edible and succulent, I want it in the worst way— like Rihanna and Chris Brown duet chanting birthday cake. (For the record, as a former fat kid and current fat adult I don’t ever crave cake. Contrary to what Fifty Cent would have you believe, I would rather eat macaroni and cheese.)

So, when I bought the week’s worth of frozen meals, I told myself that I would also eat vegetables at lunch and dinner to complement my entrees. However, when it was time to eat, I just ate double entrees instead. Hence, the gaping hollow inside of my freezer shelves, wallet, and waistband buttonhole.

Plus, my lovely family wanted pizza with cheese . . . that I ate, along with cheddar and sour cream chips. What a difference a day makes! Take that Essylstyns!

I don’t cry over spilt milk. I eat it melted or powdered over golden waves of potatoes and grains.

Love you like a fat kid loves dairy,


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